Using Small Talk for Skill Development

How to break the ice in a foreign country

Welcome, aspiring polyglot! For all the hate Duolingo gets, the truth is that no one, and no app, can guess the topics you will engage with in your target language. In fact, due to the nature of conversation itself, you can’t even predict the things about which you will speak. I am not big on Duolingo, I think my review made that clear, however, it excels at introducing vocabulary. Even if, in the context their AI conjures, it seems completely irrelevant to your success.

Theory and practice

In general, I am in favor of diving deep into topics that are well understood already. For people who love to cook, cooking and recipe videos are incredible practice. Gardeners will get a lot from watching gardening videos, especially if they are looking to solve problems already. However, generalized vocabulary is just as, if not more, important than specialized vocabulary.

Sometimes in my classes I can feel my students rolling their eyes at some of the vocabulary we see. After all, when will you really ever use the word “undermine” in Spanish? My answer to that question is a question of my own, “Why can’t you foresee a situation in which you will use more unique vocabulary? As frustrating as it can be to forget basic words, that is no reason to avoid complex vocabulary.

More importantly, you have absolutely no control over the words other people use to communicate with you. Perhaps you never will use the word ameliorate, but what if someone else uses it whilst speaking to you? Then what? Not every word you learn is meant to be a word you use. The advice I give my students is to learn 5 words and use the one or two you can remember for certain. (see fig. 1)

fig 1

Nothing is quite as brutal as keeping up with someone throughout an entire conversation only to get stopped in your tracks by a new word you never learned because it can’t be found in a top 100 list somewhere. If you are going to put all of this time and effort into learning a new language, you might as well do it to the best of your ability.

Broadening your horizons

Learning how to do new things is one of the better ways to learn a new language. As much as I think people who love to cook will get a ton out of recipe videos, the truth is that those who are not adept in the kitchen have even more to gain from the very same exercises. But this doesn’t stop at the kitchen. Just about anything you want to learn, you can learn in a new language. Read how here:

There are few reasons to broaden your horizons more profound than learning a new language. If you are planning to share your life with a group of people who don’t share your native language, you are going to be confronted by topics you do not speak about in your native language. Through no fault of your own, of course, different countries have different problems and cultures and histories and you can’t possibly know them all at the beginning.

When I was first interviewed for my exchange program, the interviewers asked me what I knew about Belgium. The truth was, I didn’t really know much at all. I knew it was a country, I knew where it was, and I knew they spoke 3 languages officially. That was my primary reason for choosing that country with Switzerland being my second choice.

By the time I returned home, however, I understood far more. Part of broadening your horizons that I think is too often overlooked is that you don’t have to be the one to do all of the work. All you need to do is be willing, other people will happily fill your time with stories and explanations if you give them the opportunity. This is also your escape from generalized vocabulary.

Becoming interesting

Once upon a lifetime ago, I was the manager of a sales office. In my training, one of the things I focused on was authenticity because that was always my biggest pet peeve with sales representatives. Learning how to get people interested in a product is very similar to learning how to be interesting as a person. Fortunately, there isn’t really anything you need to do in order to be interesting.

Like it or not, the most interesting person is an interested person. Being an interested person is in your best interest (ha ha) because it is the easiest, most efficient way to learn new things and meet new people. In short, you can both expand your understanding of the world and grow your circle of influence simultaneously by learning to listen.

Listening is a skill and it is a skill that pays dividends in all things language. Using language, interpreting language, parsing language, crafting language, and much more. That said, it is also one of the things that is most frustrating because no one wants to spend their whole life sitting in silence. The nice thing is that the better you become at listening the less time you will spend sitting in silence.

Conclusion

Everyone starts somewhere. That means there is utility in the small talk you will go through every morning. You can gain a lot form speaking about very little if you know where to look. Pay attention to the mannerisms of people you speak to while they listen. Imitation is a powerful tool you have at your disposal through speech, listening, translation, and every other aspect of language acquisition.

Depth of conversation can evolve, but it cannot start out deep. The profundity of any conversation is dependent upon both your ability to express yourself and your ability to completely comprehend your interlocuter. If you are not where you want to be yet, start by learning words you can’t see yourself ever using. You never know with whom you will end up conversing.

Everything in this post is part of a larger system. If you want the full methodology in one place, 3 Months to Conversational is available now on Amazon. It’s the same framework my private students use, designed for independent learners.

If you want that framework customized to your target language, your goals, and your schedule. Check out the private course options.