Getting out of your own way

Overcoming a common challenge

Welcome, aspiring polyglot! Adults who are choosing to further their own education often fall into the same trap. That is, their brain will often get in the way of successful learning. Whether it is because of self doubt or unrealistic expectations, the effect is the same. Younger people are often able to overcome this fear through an exuberant, unearned confidence. Only later in life, after having failed several times, do we begin to let our brain talk us out of the belief that we know what we are doing.

Outpacing your brain

Before the switch flips and you achieve true language acquisition you are going to have months of conversations where you are able to understand what is said, until you try to translate it into your native language. I have seen it happen in real time with others and, because of this, I have noticed it in myself. Over time this processing will become more and more seamless, but it will take time to get there.

Learning to trust your gut is crucial during this period of time because you may find that you are able to comprehend more than you think. I often tell my students that they know more than they think. Especially during this particular transition phase. The latency that you experience during this phase can feel like a plateau. That is why it is important to understand the difference between self correction and second guessing yourself. For that, see this article:

Input, however, is not the only time that this happens. Output can also have lag periods where, after formulating a way to say something, if you go back and review every single word you will often render yourself silent. Think of it like this. When you are considering putting yourself at risk, the more you think about it the less likely you are to put yourself in that position.

For example, if you’ve ever been cliff jumping, you have either experienced or seen someone experience the paralysis that comes from overthinking an activity. Most of the time, the worst case scenarios we make up in our heads are far worse than any real possibility could ever be. If you find yourself in this situation, try to remember that. More doing, less thinking. Even when you make mistakes, the consequences may surprise you.

Dealing with emotions

Emotional management is an under discussed component to successful language acquisition. Stress and cortisol spikes will directly affect the language centers of your brain putting you at an almost entirely self imposed disadvantage. It takes time to learn that your own brain is your worst enemy during your initial conversations. This is usually because you are afraid of embarrassment.

While some of the mistakes you can make during beginning conversations are terrible and can lead to disastrous consequences, the vast majority of the mistakes you will make are almost entirely inconsequential. Until you try you won’t know, though. Worst of all, this trifecta of stress, embarrassment, and fear are perfect for creating a negative feedback loop that may cause you to remain indefinitely in the silent period of language acquisition.

Fear is a powerful emotion and it is incredibly motivating. Unfortunately, when it comes to learning a new language, the thing motivated by fear is silence. Building up courage takes time and it does not and should not be done all at once. If you are willing to speak to anyone, the path will be more difficult, but you will also be through the worst of it faster. For more on building courage, check out this article:

Learning to trust yourself

Through all of this you have to learn how to trust yourself. The best way to go about doing that in the beginning is by stacking little wins. It is tremendously easy to underestimate the power of little wins, but once you learn how powerful the snowball effect is it is almost addicting. Getting the ball rolling is the hardest part, that is where the strategizing becomes important.

If you are writing from the very early days of your language acquisition journey, as I am always suggesting, you will have a very easy method for realizing your progress. Going back to make corrections on things that were at one time your very best efforts is a powerful tool for seeing your real progress. Using the language is the absolute best way to start seeing progress, irrespective of how poorly you start out.

Using the language is the only way to get direct and immediate feedback. Whether that feedback is immediately good or bad will depend on the situation, but more often than not you will find you are receiving external affirmation and praise for your willingness to put yourself out there. Unless you have ever pointed and laughed at someone who was struggling to speak your native language, you have no reason to believe it will happen to you.

Conclusion

Emotions are part of learning a new language. In fact, learning a new language will deepen your emotional capacities. That is partially because you will be put into so many uncomfortable positions that your capacity for empathy will necessarily grow. Being put into those situations will not only make it easier over time, but the more often you do it the easier it will become.

Learning to manage emotions is a bi-product of language acquisition and the more languages you learn the deeper your understanding of yourself will become. But more importantly you will also slowly train yourself to outpace your brain. Conquering your internal mechanisms is difficult, but you can do difficult things and be great. So get out and do some difficult things and become great. I am rooting for you.

Requests

If you have anything you would like covered you can reach out to me on ​X​, ​Instagram​, or at odin@secondlanguagestrategies.com.

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